Friday, January 20, 2006

There's Something about Hong Kong

It's been three months since I got to Hong Kong. I think Hong Kong is a city that is easy to fall in love with, but is also one that is easy to fall out of love with ... just like an old flame gone out after a short summer, like steam, it evaporates. It's a place that you have to learn to love in order to survive there. And in this process of learning, you'll find a lot about this culture and yourself -- about why or why not you come to love this place, what you love or don't love this place that reflects your personality, about your own parameters and principles that have never come to be tested, patience, and, most of all, where your home and your heart is.

Hong Kong is like that, vibrant, full of surprises, modern and fashionable. It is a place full of contradictions. As if to show how different and individualistic it is, it built for itself the famous Bank of China tower, the world's heaviest bridge, the Tsing Ma Bridge, spent only 7 years to materialize an international airport out of nothing (even the island itself was man made), one of the world's best designed transporation network, the world's busiest cargo port .... Yet, aside from its individualism, it hides itself
behind a mask of designer goods and brands and styles from abroad, rarely from within.

High-strung could be a very appropriate word to describe Hong Kong. No other place could you find a combination of so much modernity and culture, with the odorless, but potent, killer sense of survival. It is everywhere; from the subway to the movies, to the streets, the offices, at the border, the media, to its education and politics, it is ladened with this acute scent of urgency.

This is how they survive, I suppose. This culture survives in the gaps between two other worlds, lashed by the critics of insecurity. It survived abandonment, loss and invasion through the past century. It learned so much as being a survivor that the only way to escape from the deep rut of being a surivor is to dig itself out of it. It frantically dug and dug ... and as if this hole will always be haunting, this culture as a whole is still digging, only to dig itself into an psychological hole. It has lost its personality along the way.

One might come to love Hong Kong for the fact that it has that facade of being so strong, yet it really is just as tender as anyone else inside. Because of this weakness, Hong Kong becomes alive. It becomes a real person with blood and tears and a scar that will always sting.

Just try walking down by the waterfront at 8pm; you'll see Hong Kong in all its glory and glitters, laser show and lights every night. Then go to the bar street on Lan Gui Fong, and you'll see how many people with pains that need to be consoled, that need a place to take off the mask they wear during the day that's suffocating them.

You'll see that this city is real.

Cheers to It All!

My brother is in his first year of college. At the beginning of the school year, he told me, "No, I'll never get drunk."

Just now, he told me, "I was drunk."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, I had 4 shots of vodka and beers."
"Excellent. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do, but if you do, tape it. Oh, and don't sleep with anyone -- boy or girl -- because it's not nice."
"Right, like I was going to do anything like that."
"(uh oh ... hope it's not a deja vu; probably should have said something about condoms) Sure ...."
"Anyway, I kinda like it ... unfortunately."
"Welp, you'll like it a lot more later on. I guarantee it. So be sure to take lots of pictures for memories that you won't remember!"

Ah, good ole college. Cheers to being young!

... and cheers to you, lil' bro!

Monday, January 2, 2006

Writing a New Start

It's been a while since I posted a new blog. I'm going to start out with this:

I have been reading a lot of Chinese novels lately. I love languages. I particularly like the Chinese language, amongst so many that I am interested in. Not only does it come naturally, mostly because I grew up around it, but also because it's such an expressive language especially when you are in a bad mood. It is a language full of cynicism, expressed in disbelief and a sort of greyish fatalism that finishes off all kinds of bubbly positive thoughts, but at the same time extends the stubbornness of a buffalo's strength that again and again lasts through the night and day -- the kind of energy that Hong Kong is all about. You wonder why Hong Kong is so rich, so vibrant, so tough? Talk to the people. You'll understand how far cynicism gets you -- far, but for some (maybe the optimistic kind that is trying to find the more abstract motivation in life), not far enough.

I am the kind that wants to find inspiration in life, but understands all too well where cynicism can get you (maybe a house, a car, some money, some popular respect, something stable). I am caught in the middle. And I want to write about it, complain about it ... with the same kind of cynicism that gets me down, maybe as a display of irony, or revenge. So I have decided that I should try my hand in writing essays in Chinese.

It's been at least 10 years since I last wrote essays in Chinese. For the past 10 years, I have been enjoying myself with the freedom of writing in English. Honestly, writing in English has been a kind of release for me. No fomalities, no limits ... just writing. It's a marvel how a mere 26-lettered alphabet can create so many venues of expression. (Also interesting how my Chinese, which comes so naturally, explains my upbringing and English, with its lack of formalities and straightforwardness, explains my personality.)

I think it's time I should try something new.

I remember when I first started writing English essays, I had my own personal dictionary/thesaurus. I would write down phrases and words and expressions that I liked into a notebook for future reference.

So starting from the next Chinese book I read, I'm going to do the same to equip myself. I am going to write in Chinese ... an essay, maybe a short story of sorts.

Even if I don't become rich and famous in the end, at least I will feel good about doing something interesting and daring ... in a nerdy kind of way..

Ooo, I'm excited.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

An IM Convo

Val: what do you have faith in

Me: That the world can be better and that I am going to be a part of that change. I have faith that no matter how my family treats me, they are still trying to care for me. I have faith that I have some of the world's best of people as friends. I have faith that I will exceed the capabilities I have now as I learn along the way.

Me: Um, yeah, I don't know. I think I have faith in more than I thought.