Air to Breathe? Well, I Guess You Can't Really Depend on That.

Tonight, I'm haunted by trust, or lack thereof. Who can I trust? What is permanent? Oh, I'm at the mercy of myself again (here's to you, Sarah - woohoo!).

I've built so many friendships and relationships around me: those that I can lean on when I'm at my worst, those that I hold on to like floaties in a sea of storms.

But really, who are they? Why do they come to your aid? Is it just an exchange? Or is it a moment of sympathy - and when that moment fades, where will the people be? Will you be left asking, "What happened to 'friends forever'?" Will you be left holding nothing but your own shadow, berating yourself for how naive you are?

Do we actually have to tear apart the beautiful glowing surface of trust and say, "You've got to know who you can't trust and know that it's nothing personal"?

Nothing personal.
But didn't this whole life thing start off as something personal? ... Or did it all revert back to survival before I noticed?

What They Said

I ran into something today:

Apparently, some guy named Frankl said, "We cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose."

And Freud apparently said that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.

Who? Me?

My goal in life is to be a princess, but a Broadway star would do, too. I can never be on a diet because I love food too much. The day that no one is hungry, there will be world peace. I like to sleep. I adore cats, but I also love mice. You know, sometimes I think we all want to be saved by a hero, but we don't realize that we are the heroes to save ourselves. I came out of my mother a very clumsy individual. I think people-watching is one of the best pastimes ever. Thank heavens for coffee shops, the subway, bookstores and street side benches. Thinking is one of the things I know how to do best. Thinking is the empowering process which keeps us from taking what we have for granted. I love glasses -- wine glasses, water glasses, martini glasses, etc.. I like teacup sets and tea pots. I like going on dates with myself with a book and maybe my headphones. I love coffee shops that never give you the pressure of having to leave. When I'm by myself at a restaurant, I like to sit in the corner next to the window. I love looking at collections of photography or compilations of ads from around the world at bookstores because those books are usually too expensive for me to buy. National Geographic is absolutely amazing, and so is PBS. Taking pictures and writing make me feel like I'm communicating with myself. I dislike shopping. I am a collector of maps and postcards; they make me feel in touch with the world. I love the world not just for how good it is, but how good it CAN BE. Libraries are scared places with answers to almost everything in life. My high school government teacher told me that vitamin C doesn't actually help fight against cancer, but I take them anyway just in case. Have you ever had dreams where you snuck into someone's suitcase and travelled around the world that way? Well, I have, and I think it's neat. I would rather be on a cruise ship, but someone should give it a try. I'm a Pisces. My Sun sign is Pisces. My Moon sign is Pisces. My Mercury sign is Pisces. I'm just REALLY REALLY Pisces.

Air to Breathe? Well, I Guess You Can't Really Depend on That.

Tonight, I'm haunted by trust, or lack thereof. Who can I trust? What is permanent? Oh, I'm at the mercy of myself again (here's to you, Sarah - woohoo!).

I've built so many friendships and relationships around me: those that I can lean on when I'm at my worst, those that I hold on to like floaties in a sea of storms.

But really, who are they? Why do they come to your aid? Is it just an exchange? Or is it a moment of sympathy - and when that moment fades, where will the people be? Will you be left asking, "What happened to 'friends forever'?" Will you be left holding nothing but your own shadow, berating yourself for how naive you are?

Do we actually have to tear apart the beautiful glowing surface of trust and say, "You've got to know who you can't trust and know that it's nothing personal"?

Nothing personal.
But didn't this whole life thing start off as something personal? ... Or did it all revert back to survival before I noticed?