Babies

Awww, my babies.

I used to have mice as pets, and that wasn't very long ago ... maybe two years. It was sort of an effort to make up my lack of experience with pets in my childhood (I had a pet SNAIL as a child ... but then it ran away before I could even name it). I had 13 mice at one point, as I recall. Hey, they're not all the same. They had their own personalities, seriously.

Olivia
Charlotte
Abigail -Abby
Annabelle -Annie
Amelia -Frodo
Isabella -Izzy
Victoria -Torey
Scarlette -Pinky
One-Eared Willie
Jaime - Little Boy
Patrick
Jackyln - Jacky
Elizabeth - Lizzie

Yeah, I went a little crazy.

My first two mice were punks. They bit me everytime I put my hand anywhere near them. But then again, they had a miserable time at the pet store, as the owner of the store just tossed them around like food (literally! I rescued them from being eaten by snakes). They were Charlotte and Olivia. I loved those names, and I gave them to my first real pets. That was in April of 2004.

But the trouble of having mice as pets is that you really don't have to limit yourself on how many you have. Unlike cats or dogs, if you have too many of them, it just doesn't work out. Mice ... well, they're mice, and they're small, so it's ok as long as you get another cage.

So because my first mice weren't so friendly, I got myself another three. And, boy, I didn't know what trouble I was in for. These 3 were definitely pretty: Annabell was black and white, kinda like a milk cow; Frodo had long silver fur; and Abigail was just grey, but cute anyway. And all three were BULLIES. They terriorized the Original Two to death ... almost.

Between so many mice and so many memories, Izzy lived the longest and I actually liked her the most ... and it's hard not to! She would respond to my calls, would climb up my hand when I offered, and was just sooo friendly. She ran away and never came home -- and I never could find her. That was the first time I cried in front of my mom and brother as an adult. Yep, all for Izzy.

I miss my babies today, and all the memories that go with them, McKenna, Sam, my old, tiny apartment, their smell (stinky!), Petsmart/Petco Runs, sickness and death, little boxes that enclosed their bodies before I buried them, flowers, bites, sunshine, ....

... just like how sunny it is today.

Scars and Twilight

Funny how things work ... and I know I always say that, but it's true.

I guess life goes on. When your wounds heal, all that's left is scar tissue, where it is slow to react to stimuli.

So my wound has healed. I no longer feel the pain shooting straight through my heart everytime I read or see or hear something or whatever that reminds me of the past. The feeling becomes an aged nostalgia instead. I'd sigh and go: "Yes, I remember that."

Those days ... life-changing, yes, but now, they are just memories that did change my life. Cherished, both the good and the bad, but in the past ... black and white. They can no longer hurt me the way they did.

It's been a long 5 years -- 5 years that had 10 years' effect on me. Through the storms that I weathered and the quakes that I sustained, yes, I am still here. No, I didn't do it all alone; those that were and still are behind me will never leave my heart. No, I'm not perfect, but I am still here waiting to fight another day.

I am waiting with open arms, so tell me ...

... Tell me how I can make it better this time around. Tell me where the Road is because I'll go without hesitation.

I am waiting for the dawn so that I can fight for a change.

For twilight.

Waiting.

Secret to the Origin of Love

Origin of Love
from the musical motion picture "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

When the earth was still flat,
And the clouds made of fire,
And mountains stretched up to the sky,
Sometimes higher,
Folks roamed the earth
Like big rolling kegs.
They had two sets of arms.
They had two sets of legs.
They had two faces peering
Out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked; while they read.
And they never knew nothing of love.
It was before the origin of love.

The origin of love

And there were three sexes then,
One that looked like two men
Glued up back to back,
Called the children of the sun.
And similar in shape and girth
Were the children of the earth.
They looked like two girls
Rolled up in one.
And the children of the moon
Were like a fork shoved on a spoon.
They were part sun, part earth
Part daughter, part son.

The origin of love

Now the gods grew quite scared
Of our strength and defiance
And Thor said,
"I'm gonna kill them all
With my hammer,
Like I killed the giants."
And Zeus said, "No,
You better let me
Use my lightening, like scissors,
Like I cut the legs off the whales
And dinosaurs into lizards."
Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh,
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle.
Gonna cut them right up in half."
And then storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire

And then fire shot down
From the sky in bolts
Like shining blades
Of a knife.
And it ripped
Right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon
And the earth.
And some Indian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole,
Pulled it round to our belly
To remind us of the price we pay.
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane,
To scatter us away,
In a flood of wind and rain,
And a sea of tidal waves,
To wash us all away,
And if we don't behave
They'll cut us down again
And we'll be hopping round on one foot
And looking through one eye.

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two.
You were looking at me.
I was looking at you.
You had a way so familiar,
But I could not recognize,
Cause you had blood on your face;
I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.
That's the pain,
Cuts a straight line
Down through the heart;
We called it love.
So we wrapped our arms around each other,
Trying to shove ourselves back together.
We were making love,
Making love.
It was a cold dark evening,
Such a long time ago,
When by the mighty hand of Jove,
It was the sad story
How we became
Lonely two-legged creatures,
It's the story of
The origin of love.
That's the origin of love.

My People on MySpace

By the way, I'm so proud of myself to say that, except for a handful of people on my buddy list (some are acquaintences that I don't usually "talk" to in the virtual world but will talk if we saw each other in the tangible world, some are music pages, and I believe there's ONE that is neither; it's more like an "OHMYGOSHYOUAREJOEYHARRINGTON!" impulse), all the other people are actual friends or very good friends that I actually talk to!

Knowing I have so many people who care about me and I care about makes me feel ... rich.