Come Clean

It made me really sad to hear what you had to say yesterday in the car.

I am sorry to hear that you feel like our line of communication is broken along somewhere.
It may be true that our styles of communication are very different -- even down to our vocabulary -- but the most detrimental thing that makes communication work is patience and openness.
What makes me sad is that along this short way, we have somehow forgotten those things.
I can't help but to wonder if it's not something we're both dealing with inside that we haven't expressed to each other yet.

I am also sorry to hear about the reasons to why you chose to lead your life.
I believe I understand why you choose to be isolated and emotionally enclosed -- perhaps the disappointments with people along the way in past years have a lot to do with it.
A friend once told me a quote: "I want life in every breath to the extent that it's absurd."
We sometimes have these unspoken expectations for the people that we come into contact with that, in all reality, they cannot fulfill. And we often are let down and hurt by these instances.
Some of us become depressed, some, angry, and some in between.
But it's every bit a hard road.
I understand that it hasn't been easy.

Your point about my young age of 25 strikes a chord.
I agree with your comment that I'm young and that there are things that wisdom cannot replace, such as experience.
I'd be foolish to disagree with that.
But I am concerned with how you choose to handle our age difference:
it is obvious that I have much to learn,
but it is unfair that my age would become something of a handicap on my end.
I find it difficult to maintain my position (whatever it may be) when I am being put on a different plane -- a lower plane -- as a "younger" person.
It is very hard for me to grasp why it's so easy for you to sleep with me, but so hard for you to treat me at least with some respect of being equal.
In fact, this is what hurts me: to know that you can sleep with me, no problem, but when it comes to being friends, you just cannot get yourself to do it.
There are many things that happen in life that people of all ages can relate to at least to some extent.
Just because I'm younger doesn't mean I can be easily dismissed;
it also doesn't mean that I don't know any better -- or that I need to know any better.
The point is everyone has their own realities.
Different realities, however, isn't reason good enough for people to turning away from each other.

You know, we're not "fucked" because we started sleeping with each other right at the beginning.
When all things are considered, this has the least bearing on our relationship as people, as roommates, as friends.

In the case that I'm being pushed away, I'd really rather walk away myself.
But I didn't want to leave without tell you all this.