Aches and Drowning

My heart aches every morning and night and every other moment in between ...
... for you and because of you.

How do you do that? How do you do that thing where you just get up and leave, just tear my beating heart into a million shreds, just wipe away beautiful memories like marks on a white board and replace them with ugly mistakes?

All because you aren't feeling glittery anymore? All the glitter in the world fades into something else; they never stay. You say there is no pleasure without pain, but you don't really believe that. Look, at us.

I went from the most important person in your life to nothing ... utter nothingness. You pushed and I sank. Drowning in a sea of pain. I watched your face blur through the water. Your outline started to blend with the tears in my eyes. The violent air bubbles and gushing waves swept me and swallowed me. I strained to turn around to find that you have disappeared. You have left me to drown.

The sinking to the bottom of the sea is a long lonely journey in the dark, with my heart aching every morning and night, and every other moment in between.