Mindless Babbling about *gasp* Marriage

Marriage.

I just read on someone's blog a giant list of things to look for in "the perfect guy" to marry. I was at a loss for words. I was just at a loss. I actually haven't given much thought into the topic. And being someone whose mind is constantly reeling, THAT is odd. I'm not thinking, for ONCE!

Marriage.

I wonder.
Why does it scare you? Why is it that we've now grown to be "immune to the marriage epidemic"? Why is it that we are afraid of committing to one person for the rest of our lives? What is so important about freedom and autonomy as opposed to stability? Have we all be hurt too much and seen too much to let go, to dive in?

I don't really know. I honestly don't understand ANY of it. I don't understand why many think that it's ok to enter a contracted commitment without really thinking it through, and then when things go awry, as most thoughtless (or at least lack of enough thought) decisions result, they think it's ok to quit. Of course, there are exceptions ... hey, sometimes things go bad without you planning it or foreseeing it. But still ...

I'm not opposed to getting married (eventually, that is), and -- who knows? -- I might get lucky one day. But I know for sure that I will not do it unless I can feel it in my gut, that every cell in my body lights up like Christmas lights ... that's when I know.

If I am going to do it, I'll do it right. Or else I won't do it at all.

It's a lot like partnering with someone to do business. Marriage as an institutional device really is just to merge two people's finances and properties together with a piece of paper (the famous and infamous "paper solution" of the Western society), which hopefully can give a society better order, something for members of that society to anchor themselves to. When I enter a business, I don't aim for it to fail in the end; I won't give myself the option. I aim for it to prosper and flourish. How's marriage any different?

But hey, then again, I might never end up getting married. I may not even have to worry about it EVER! (At least my mother seems to feel more at ease with the idea of me never getting married. "It can get messy," said she. Maybe she has a point.)

So why the blabber? I mean, at least I'm happy at where I am now. Not married, no kids ("anyone wanna go halves on a baby?" hahaha!), no worries. Just a good life, impending masters degree, bright future, excellent family and friends, amazing start to a relationship with a wonderful guy, at ease with myself. I'm just gonna leave it at that.