The Bouquet Nailed Me in the Eye

Well, so THIS is how it feels to catch the bride's bouquet.

Announcer: All the single ladies here, please come to the dance floor.
Elaine: [murmurs to herself] Oh boy ....
Nora: Get up there get up there get up there get up there [pokes my arm with her finger -- and why does she have to poke me so goddamn hard?]
Elena (some Romanian lady sitting at our table): You should go up there!
Elaine: Eh, I don't know. [awkward chuckle]

Nora continues to poke me.

Elaine: [sighs] Fine!

I walk up to the dance floor, looked around and noticed that most of the crowd except for about 7-8 girls (out of something like 40 married women) moved uncomfortably and somewhat gingerly shifted in their seats. I guess at that point, all 8 or 9 of us just got a first-hand understanding of what it means to be minority.

Finally, the troupe of brave young single women lined up to cast their insecurities and hesitations aside to receive the throwing of the bouquet. After all, we are all in the boat of "yes, I want to be in a relationship, but, no, I don't want to be in a relationship." Yes, I understand, ladies.

I stepped back to allow all the other more hopeful girls step in front of me. No, I'm not on the market to find my "other half." I don't even have a stuffed animal I sleep with at night. Not even a plant. Let alone some guy. Yep, have it ladies. I'll hang back here.

Just as I stepped back though, I stepped ON someone's foot instead. A tall blond girl looked down to me as I looked up.

"Oh, sorry," I said. We exchanged a subtle, but mutual smile ... something along the awkward lines of "Yeah, I'm single, too."

As I turned my head back to view the front, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a flash of color coming at me.

I thought, "Oh, no, this isn't happ ..."

And that's when it hit me in the right eye. It, as in the bouquet.

When I opened my eye, I saw the pretty bunch of flowers fall in slow motion, and I heard the envying "Oh!" of all the ladies around me. (Singledom is better? Right, don't even try to kid me. You all wanted it; I know.)

"Addamnit. Wasn't I just telling you NOT to catch it? Now, you possibly just jinxed yourself from going through training, learning what you need to learn, so that you could travel the world!"

Yes, all of that sparked through my mind -- all of it in that very short moment.

As I watched the bouquet fall, I had no choice but to catch it. How rude would it be to just watch it fall, when it obviously has chosen to hit ME in the face?

So I picked it up. But right when I looked back up, I noticed all the other ladies have already dispersed or were well on their way.

I suppose they all really secretly wanted what I didn't want to have ANYTHING to do with. Or maybe I've wanted to have it, but I was just too chicken-shit to take it all this time.

One way or another, I still got nailed in the eye with a bouquet, as if it was determined to get me.

Oh, so THIS is how it feels to catch a bouquet (... or literally to have a bouquet "catch my eye" -- hahaha!).