Headline Clues

Something is not right when the most widely-read newspaper in a country that calls itself "leader of the free world" tells you these things in headlines:

- Clinton delivers emphatic plea for unity
(if unity must be plead when the opponent is a senile old man, who is President Dubya's new best bud, then it's gotta be really bad)

- U.S. officers executed Iraqis, statement say
(so this is where the case leaves off: "Three U.S. soldiers are expected to be charged for murder in connection with the killing of four Iraqi prisoners." oh good, when will they be set on parole with no bail?)

- Russia backs independence of Georgian enclaves
(guess the ole iron fist just never softens; Thatcher would have been so proud. just when we think we can tell our grandchildren about The Cold War like a bedtime story, here we are again)

- Golf tour's rule: speak English to stay in play
(why is it necessary for it to be a rule? so inhospitable. so arrogant. so fucking American. if you MUST, you really could have just not provided any non-English services, and everyone would have gotten the idea eventually. we call it SOCIAL NORMS.)

- F.A.A. computer trouble causes flight delays at several big airports
(only means Y2K has yet to come)

- Agency's head expects banking crisis to worsen
(uh, need I say more?)

- Wind energy bumps into power grid's limits
(isn't the good of relatively-clean energy a moot point if we can't support it?)

- Taliban gain new foothold in Afghan city
(oh, it goes hand-in-hand with THIS headline: "U.S. Killed 90 in Afghan Village, Including 60 Children, U.N. Finds." now, doesn't everything just kind of make sense? we really really don't need an other-worldly sage -- let alone a McCain/Bush -- to explain this one. I ALSO love that Afghan issues are lumped into the Asia Pacific category of World News, instead of South Asia, like how every other foreign newspaper does. oh, and it's supposed to be Asia/Pacific because Asia and the Pacific are not the same, you idiot.)

- THE WAY OF THE WORLD: A Story of Truth and Hope in an Age of Extremism, By Ron Suskind, 415 pages. Harper. $27.95.
(and then, they go and publish books like THIS one to tell you how things should/could be ... as if it isn't plain to see already. are they just being funny?)