I live in an empty house

Just finished writing a wedding speech, which made me feel really kind of sad and lonely ... even though I shouldn't.

I've had people tell me, "Boohoo. If I were there, I'd give you a tissue."

Maybe they are right, but it still doesn't cast away how I feel. So, thanks, people, for your genuine honesty. It didn't help though.

For once, I'm actually going to say this out loud, "I want to be spoken for. I want to be married. I just want to park my heart somewhere nice and safe, where I belong." The house I live in is so big, so not mine, that I hear my echo clearly, the kind of echo that is not muted by anyone else in the vicinity.

I am kind of tired of suspending my heart and feelings away from the life I'm living and the things I do. I call that waiting.

They tell me, "Don't get a dog. Just get a boyfriend." But really, what's the difference? Oh, wait. I see the difference. With a dog, if you train it right, you know exactly what you're gonna get. With a boyfriend, eh, not so sure.

And really, this uncertainty and distrust is just amplified louder and louder with each echo I hear of myself saying, "I don't want to be alone." And all this does is make me feel even more alone.