Here's What I Think

To conserve trees, we should all wipe our hands on our pants.

To raise our self-esteem, we should remember that smart people will be out-bred in 500 years.

To stay optimistic, we should stop reading the newspapers.

To be surprised, we should not try at all.

To stay out of harm's way, we should travel around the world with Google Map.

To understand human relations, we should watch soap operas -- then remember the opposite.

To grow happy, healthy plants, tell them they are beautiful.

To attract attention, look away from the source of attention.

To create good writing, write about nothing.