Ole Joe vs. Pretty Sarah

My notes during the veep debate:

Pretty Sarah ...
1. did her hair differently. I think she might have added some reddish brown highlights in there. (OK OK. I'll focus on things that are more important.)
2. likes to be cute and wink when she thinks people should take her word for it.
3. wore really cute red heels with her black outfit -- gotta give her credit for that! (What are you talking about?? This IS important! It is NOT sad that these are the first things I noticed about the debate. OK. Maybe it is a LITTLE boring. Just a little.)
4. looked uncomfortable standing in those tall heels for 90+ minutes ... or was it because of the debate pressure?
5. always has cute eyeglasses on ... where the heck did she get those??
6. scribbles things down a lot, but I have no idea what she could possibly be writing down. (the word "Maverick"?)
7. likes to spend lots of time talking like a mommy and not enough time talking about what she was asked. ("Now now, Joey. You know that's not right, don't you, honey? ... Oh crap, the yellow light is on! Uh, uh, uh, ... John McCain is my daddy ... I mean, Maverick?")
8. likes to give shout-outs to her fam, like her dad, brother, granddaddy, great aunt, mother's half sister's daughter's ex-boyfriend's former best friend ... wait, wait, she's not done yet! Turn that yellow light off, damn it!
9. smiles a lot, which is great ... even if it's because she has not idea what the heck to say.
10. is a pretty lady! If she doesn't win VP, she should totally get MILF of the Year.

Ole Joe ...
1. is old ... but not as old as the ole Maverick.
2. is pretty suave, in a "relax, I got this one" sorta way. In his younger years, he might have been pretty studly.
3. likes the word "Bush's." Bushhhhhhhhs.
4. likes to LOL. I'm sure Pretty Sarah noticed it.
5. makes gaffes look popular, like an Oompa Loompa tan that teenagers (even in the rainy Northwest) sport nowadays.
6. tries to be a gentleman. He wasn't too hard on Pretty Sarah. Maybe he was afraid that the Mob of Moms outside would bust through the doors and beat his ass.
7. notices the time limit light this time!
8. forgot that he is supposed to like clean coal technology for a moment ... wait, or is he supposed to like clean coal technology? I'm not sure. Maybe he does, since he looks like such a nice man.
9. wishes he could be as cute as Pretty Sarah when using homespun euphemisms for swear words, like "darn," "gosh," and "geez."
10. tries not to look at Pretty Sarah, so that he doesn't bust out saying, "I love you, Tina Fey!"