Finding Faces in the Clouds

1. What's in Life?
Religion or any other ideas and philosophy is nothing but an ornament in life, unless it's from the heart. It means you can't truly comprehend the meaning of life until you have hit rock-bottom and back.

2. What is Logic?
Logic is nothing but a learned set of management skills to make sense of what you observe and analyze in your surroundings.

3. What is Time?
Accordingly (re: #2), time is just rhetoric, putting words to each passing moments of our lives. Kind of funny: some people wish that they have 48 hours a day instead of 24. But then each "hour" in a 48-hour day would be half an hour in a 24-hour day. Everything just evens out, doesn' it? It's all perspective.

4. On My Achievements ...
My greatest achievement yet is to wake up to see the day, to feel love, to hope, to forgive ....

5. East Asian Politics
As a rising power, China needs to realize that it is at crossroads. It has a choice to make. They can make a consicous decision to change the world for the better.

6. US Hegemony and Exceptionalism?
The US will always be special, and no other nation will be the same. However, do not confuse that with US being "number 1". There is no competition. And it's not that kind of a game.

7. A Middle East Solution?
There have been many transgressions made during the Iraq crisis and crises in the Middle East. Most of these transgressions started with the difference in culture. I think one way for the US to pull out from Iraq is to allow the Iraqi regime to create a mediated dialogue other nations in the region that can identify with their culture to come up with a concrete agenda to at least ease up the current situation in that country. Do keep in mind that whatever conclusion these countries arrive at must be discussed at the UN because no country can realistically implement unilateralism in this interdependent world.

8. Comparative Cultures
Two ancient cultures, Iran (Persia) and China, with ties in the past, are so different to this day. What are their differences? Briefly:
- Iran's fundamental belief that church and state are inseparable, hence,
lack of checks and balances;
- Every culture has their mix of fatalism and self-determination
(patrimonialsm and legalism, respectively, as per legitimacy of rule), and
Iran happened to have a mixture that consists of more fatalism than
self-determination as opposed to China;
- Iran and China's level of difficulty of access to power as well as the role
of intellectuals are different;
- The two differ in their management of "chaos".

9. A Civil Society
There are many more tolerant and big-hearted people out there. It is when they start to get taken advantage of that the world starts to turn ugly.

10. Appreciation
THANK YOU, ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, WHO ARE THERE TO SUPPORT AND INSPIRE ME THROUGH THE UPS AND DOWNS OF MY LIFE! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Home is Where the Heart Is

Lately, I have been wondering about how my life has changed.

Going to school has always been a means for me to have a fulfilling career in service. I wanted to give myself and just ... dissolve ... in hopes that my life will make something positive grow. I was so ready to leave this life here behind and go far far away.

But now, I realize that things are ... different.

No, don't get me wrong; nothing can take away my desire to give. But lately, I feel the need to stay, for I have found my place here. I have found my heart a home, and I want to build on that ... because this makes me happy. Maybe all this time, when I wanted to go away, all I have been feeling is that I don't belong, and I felt like I needed to find my place elsewhere. And maybe all this time, I wanted to love but found no one worthy, that's why I felt that I should give myself and my life away.

But now, I want to stay because staying here gives my life life.

It's sometimes confusing. I am happy -- believe me, it just feels so natural. Yet, on the other hand, I sometimes feel like I'm letting some people down for not going somewhere "big" or "impressive", because I was supposed to "make a difference".

Funny to think that, while I regret to tell them that No, I probably won't be doing what you thought I would do, I am happy to free myself of that tether and finally doing something that I want to do and recognizing my reality. I know the risks that I am running, and I know this could break m heart. But no, I don't regret it. In a much less graceful way, it's my way of saying f-you, world! Hey, come on. Who ever said I am graceful anyway?

This is where I belong. This is the home of my heart. And I'd give everything I have for it to grow.

PS. Did you know? A good friend is one who you can enjoy talking to. A good lover is one who you can enjoy being silent with.

On that note, I'll leave you with something my friend, Jordan, wrote me:

I just don't believe in pessimism and self-hatred anymore, and neither should you. Everyone will want to tell you how things will go wrong, and how many hundreds of ways things could go sour. But you just gotta be fearless and say, "This is my reality. I decide who I love, when I want, where I want, and how I want. Everyone feels empty and estranged in love and out of love. You just have to manage how you want love to build you up and not break you down.

Reasons to Fight

I was feeling so so so unmotivated this morning (read previous blog). I've been way too comfortable and way too lazy lately. I decided that I should remind myself why I am here for and what I am working for, so I wrote this:

REASONS FOR BEING IN SCHOOL

9-26-2006

1. Service: to prepare for my future endeavor of promoting long-term sustainable community development and involvement

2. Career: to start an enjoyable career that provides financial returns so to pay off debts, support myself and my family (if that may be) and to fulfill filial obligations with relative ease

3. Learning: to fulfill my intellectual curiosity and excel with practice

4. Exploration: to expand my horizon by trying new activities and seeing through new perspectives

5. Networking: to make long-term connections with inspirational people

6. Self-realization: to understand myself better and to practice discipline, efficiency, intuition and critical thinking through commitment

[Nothing will ever change my desire to give, but now I have more to fight for: I have found a home for my heart.]

You know you want this. No difficulty will get to you because you are courageous and powerful, and you are supported by LOVE. You are a FIGHTER!

Real Time

Ok, I have school today (@8:30am), and I'm feeling especially unmotivated. It's like I just wanna go away and do something else ... travel or something. Ugh!!! I hate feeling lazy!

And Brian's house is way too comfy; I wish I'm living here. haha! I especially like it that I get to be there when he comes home.

Aight. I'm catching a ride with the neighbor, so I gotta go.