Drama and Me

I don't get it sometimes.

I am glad to lead a relatively drama-free life. To refuse to be a part of unnecessary conflict, I even went to the lengths of leaving the country for half a year to gain new perspectives. It worked. I came back, and nothing mattered quite as much anymore. What was is no more.

How can you be who you truly want to be if you are constantly surrounded by the same people who always cause you the same problems, who limit your freedom and liberty, who take away your right to choose, who always remind you of the grief you went through in the past and never let you completely heal? Maybe I don't understand, but maybe I understand too well, that's why I question with all due respect.

How can you grow if your perspectives are limited by the same mundane views of the same people around you, perspecitves that keep circulating round and round and round? How would you know that the views you have are just that ... views, with no room for growth?

Perhaps my life has been boring. I just walked the train tracks for the first time 2 months ago. I just walked a dog for the first time a week ago. I touched the first shot gun recently. I went canoeing for the first time 2 months ago. ... Really, I have been sheltered.

But within my own sheltered life, I did go through a lot of less innocent events, my choice or against my will. I have also seen many things about people, about culture, about the conflicts and dichotomies between ideas .... So perhaps I'm not so sheltered after all. I am just boring and timid, if you measure me against standards that are applied generally to a different lifestyle. But if you really open your eyes, ears and heart, you might find something interesting, defiant, rich, and colorful behind what you see from your own tinted lenses ... that is, if you are willing to step back and pay attention.