Quarter-Life Crisis

Karma, I think, has a way of working. It's almost five in the morning, and I just got done with a great conversation with my mom ... part deux of a larger conversation, extending from a previous one. My mother and I probably have never had such a good conversation ever in my life, and I think she is finally starting to treat me seriously. I finally told her about some of my problems, including the depression that I've been dealing with for years ... turns out it's something genetic ... runs in the family. Through talking to her, I just realized how far I've come in developing my own sense of self, and I finally felt, more so than ever, like whole.

I have been experiencing so many changes in the past couple of weeks decision wise: grad school (which includes moving out and taking out my first 50,000 USD loan, and the whole nine yards), some semi-concrete plans for the next 5-year plan, started rock climbing, etc.. There are other things as well, such as realize how much I am worth, deciding on a new outlook on life and worldview, appreciating more of my family and friends, realizing who is in my circle of strength (those of whom I can rely on for strength), and more. Even though it's been overwhelming, I've never felt better in my life than these past couple of weeks.

For the first time in my life, I'm actually happy. No, I don't have set definition of "happiness". But for now, I know that I'm happy because I feel like I'm getting somewhere. I feel like I like myself more, thus more confident and self-assured. I feel more in control of myself and my life and more aware of my surroundings than ever before.

Yes, that is my happiness at age 23.