This is Interesting UPDATED

Well, with this ...

Date: September 23, 2007 12:22am
Subject: This is interesting ....
Body:
I really didn't want to bother you, but I can't help but to notice that you've subscribed to my blog.

WHY are you doing this?

In (the most likely) case that you're keeping tabs on what I'm saying on my blog, I haven't said anything terrible about you. In fact, I haven't written about you for a while. I don't want to feel like I'm being monitored for what I'm writing.

Perhaps the tasteful thing for anyone in your position to do at this point is to unsubscribe?

Hope all's well.

... he unsubscribed. I still don't understand why he did though! WHY? Just to torture me, as if he didn't do enough? Ugh. Please.

Thanks, guys, for all the support. He was giving me SO MUCH anxiety, it's not even funny. For about a month and a half, I was getting anxiety attacks -- serious "I need a paper bag" kind of anxiety attacks. I thought I was going to get them for years to come. Luckily, it stopped after my attitude changed with my grandmother's death. That's her parting gift to me: peace of mind.

This time, it was the anxiety of being watched. Imagine having savagely bitten by dogs and having the same dogs stare at you hours on end each day. Or ... it's the same as having been shot and to see a gun drawn on you again. (I've had an old boyfriend pound on my door late at night to get me to let him in a few years ago. Now I still get nervous whenever I hear even just a knock on the door.)

Nah, old wounds don't always heal right. You can always feel it underneath your skin. The trick is to let it hurt and control your reactions.

Obviously, I'm not there yet. I'm getting there though.