Faith

This is real. My life is real. My happiness is real. My love is real.

Every once in a while -- probably more than I should -- I doubt. I get spurts of self-induced fear and grips to the heart. But just the other day, I realized that there is nothing to doubt -- not just because of how trustworthy he is, but because of how trustworthy I am. If I trust nothing else, I trust that the mistakes that I made before have made me wiser.

See,
if it isn't real, I would not have been here to begin with. I would not have so easily fallen in love.

I wouldn't have smiled so easily at him. I wouldn't have asked him for his help. I wouldn't have held his hand, walked here and there with him, shared my bed with him and shared his. I wouldn't have thought much when he told me in the car that day that we'd work out great because we're opposites. I wouldn't have let my guard down and felt safe when he touched me.

I know that I knew -- I knew -- this is different.