Feel Better

It's been over 6 months.
Acutally, 7 months and a little more.

And I'm still in love.
I still get the jitters when he calls, when he comes home, when he touches me, when he smiles at me, when he holds my hand.

The magic hasn't worn off yet!

I still look at him tender, still admire him when he plays the guitar, or fixes things, cooks, or plays with the cat.

I think there is hope for me.

Lots of people say that the first 6 months are the Honeymoon period. Once the 6 months are up, so is the magic. The newness, the excitement, and the jitters are gone. Welcome ball-and-chain.

Well, funny thing is that I didn't know I would like the post 6-month period so much. The first 6 months were a period of adjustment for me, really.

I remember feeling surreal, almost euphoric. I poured my guts out on paper (or at least the cyberspace anyway) because I needed an outlet for my bright red breath of emotions. But with the excitement, I also felt discontent and fear. I was self-conscious and afraid of opening up, fearful of being judged and then rejected. I also had my own demons to overcome.

And now, all that is gone. You know you are really in a relationship when you can share things with each other that you wouldn't with anyone else -- it could be deep dark secrets, or just simple embarrassing bodily functions.

At this 7th month mark, even though I don't feel the same as I did 6 months ago, I feel better.